Why Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz should rule the world

If you are one of the unfortunate individuals on this planet that has never heard of the evil genius Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz , then you have missed out on one of the most determined and creative evil geniuses in our time.

D r Heinz Doofenshmirtz is a fictional character from the increasingly popular TV show Phineas & Ferb. His greatest desire is to assert his control over the Tri state area, which encompasses the fictional hometown of Phineas and Ferb , Danville. Unfortunately you cannot go and pay homage to Dr Doofenshmirtz at his 20 story secret layer Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorporated , due to the fact that the tri state area seems to be on the move, in one episode it is near Mount Rushmore (South Dakota) in another seems to be located near to the Atlantic Ocean. However where ever he is, an evil plan is not far behind.

Heinz Doofenshmirtz had a very disturbing childhood, he has a brother Roger, who grew up to become Mayor of Danville, and may be the reason Heinz is so driven to succeed. He never got the attention from his mother that Roger did, all because Heinz cannot play a good game of Kickball like Roger, until he invented the kick-inator 5000 that is. His father used him as a lawn gnome for a while, he was never allowed to swim in public pools, we don’t know why, he just was not. There was also an issue of smelling of pork for a while, being raised by ocelots and being the thing people threw to drop the person into the water at a fair. However despite this he did have a few interests growing up. He tried his hand at prestidigitation, or ‘magic’, he was also the towns best shadow puppeteer, that is until huge hands Hanz showed him up, he was also showed up at science fairs by someone builing baking soda volcanos throughout his childhood as well at a poetry recital. He did have a best friend as a child, a balloon he draw a face on and sprayed with a long lasting spray he made, so he would never deflate, unfortunately whilst standing still as a gnome ‘Balloony’ floated away. Heinz is eventually reunited with Balloony in an alien space ship, but unfortunately for Heinz, Balloony has moved on and is not interested in coming home with Heinz.

When you look at Heinz Doofenshmirtz childhood, it is no wonder he has a few issues, unfortunately this might explain why his marriage ended in divorce, though it may have something to do with using his wife’s money to buy his doctorate online, I am not sure. He does have a beautiful teenage daughter called Vanessa, though she, on occasion, tries to prove to her mother that her dad is evil, however, Charlene does not believe it. Vanessa is also the love interest of Ferb, despite the fact she is a number of years older than him, who doesn’t like an older woman?

So why should Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz rule us? I have never seen a more determined, skilled or fascinating man before. To get a feel of the level of genius of Doofenshmirtz we need to examine a small collection of his plans, schemes and inventions.

There was the time he dug a hole down through the Earth to construct a toll road to china, so that he could make a fortune for everyone driving there.

The time he created the ‘Metal Distructinator’ that would change the molecular structure of metal and convert it into Brocollii, I don’t think he even knew why it did that.

He created a large robot man named ‘Norm’ to destroy his enemies.

The time he tried to get rid of Mimes by trapping them in an invisible box, I have to say I am with him there.....’learn the darn words!’

The time he created the mountain-out-of-mole-hillinator, what did that do? well exactly what the name says, grew mountains out of any molehills.

One time when in London, England he attached rockets to Big Ben just so that he would not have to strain his eyes when trying to find out the time from his layer.

He once created a space station with huge Hands to do shadow puppets on the moon...now that takes gumption.

Now those are just a small sample of some of the great works carried out by Dr Doofenshmirtz . Now obviously he was stopped by someone before his plans could come to fruition.

Who would stop him you ask? A miss informed rather strange organisation called O.W.A.C.A (Organisation Without A Cool Acronym), this organisation is lead by a wig wearing gentleman named Major Monogram (or Major Monobrow as Doofenshmirtz hilariously calls him, due to the single eyebrow stretched across his head like a caterpillar). Major Monogram(MM) is the head of the organisation and has an intern working for him by the name of Carl, he is the technical side of the organisation, he holds the camera whilst MM is talking, he unblocks paper jams from the photocopy machine, and he even knows what all the buttons do on their extensive control panel. The agents for O.W.A.C.A are, strangely, animals, of all different species, and all wearing fedoras, that is how you know they are agents, the simple act of placing a fedora on their heads means they are ready for action. Major Monogram has assigned a platypus named Perry the platypus, to be Doofenshmirtz nemesis. Perry is the reason why Dr Doofenshmirtz plans ultimately fail; he always seems to be able to stop him, sometimes without even being there, even though every time they meet Doofenshmirtz always manages to trap Perry the platypus

If Dr Heinz Doofenshmirtz were to succeed in his plans the world would be a better place, we may all be called Joe, to make remembering our names easier, and we all would wear a lab coat, but those are things I would be willing to do for the great Doofenshmirtz.

If this all sounds confusing then just watching a few episodes of Phineas and Ferb and you to will become a Doofenshmirtz fan and will hopefully join the Doofenshmirtz army . :)